A Fork in the Road in Recovery

A past that won't let go, a pain numbed that can't be shown, a darkness you could have never been expected to have known Tears of all that is lost from the frost of a loss of the heart that is tossed, yeah of the cold and unfeeling I am boss, heavy is the burden when you carry the weight of someone else's cross, you could never expect it's cost On this road I pay my misdeeds to the debtor, the many paths of the better, sobriety the monster, no, no one never needed to bother, my mind is now meant for the slaughter for the collector I had this one ride, this one moment and in it I was broken, now tears down I am chokin', the destruction from feelings unspoken, in this lowest I am token, the strained memories are awoken, a lifetime of sadness and pain lived in a moment To my own destruction I am trying to pull out the tether, stormy as the weather, left of my wings, the feathers, the wish of numbness is a spreader, help is only for the pretenders, no superheroes or world's mightiest defenders, I hate this road taken to get better when it's easier to go on a bender Can time heal my wounds? The hate that makes the pain balloon, of I were you I couldn't forgive me too, hopefully this can end soon, I don't care if it's with a hug or a boom, the wickedness that made me doomed is what consumes, leave my heart in it's tomb, maybe like a Phoenix it will renew or die like a horror core cartoon I can't seem to find which way to go in this recovery of my trauma and healing, continue the path or take a new with each interpersonal discovery dealing, I can't tell with it on how I am feeling, every high a part of myself I am stealing, every resolve I find the light I am needing, every scar I am still bleeding, just collect me up and scatter the broken pieces of my kneeling, recovery always starts with a lost being

By Veronica Hines Folger